Tag Archives: Stone

Beer Review #74: Stone Enjoy By (2/14/15)

27 Friday Feb 2015

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I lost a good ale while walking around the house the other day. I’m not yet desperate enough to suck spilled beer out of the carpet, so I’ve chosen to memorialize that lost soul in poem form.

I think that I shall never hear
a song sad as a wasted beer.

A beer whose frothy contents spilled
and left my cravings yet unfulfilled.

A beer I longed for all the day.
to wash my pointless cares away.

A beer that filled my glass with flair
but tumbled as I missed a stair.

Upon the floor its suds have lain
and cause me to cry out in pain.

Sobriety, us boozers fear
is best tamed with an ice cold beer.

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Stone Enjoy By...

Stone Enjoy By…

Appearance: Striking. Crystal clear golderrod mirred only by the incessant tiny bubbles that move with passion. A thick creamy head that sticks to your upper lip in a way that you only see in the movies. The head sticks hard to the sides of the glass, not lacing so much as slowly oozing down and covering everything. This is a marvel

Smell: Big hops; like walking through a meadow after a soft rain, the sun beaming down on your face as it slowly bakes the grass and fills the air with scents of a perfect Spring day. Like getting flowers when it’s not even a special occasion.

Taste: Oddly tame, I expected to be stabbed in the back of the throat with hops and bitterness. Medium-bodied and incredibly drinkable.

A nice bit of citrus cuts through everything and keeps you refreshed and wanting more. It finishes mush sweeter than I’d expect for this kind of beer. Mango or something tropical. It totally caught me off guard. For the most part it tastes like it smells with is damn near perfect.

Overall: Buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy! This was a revelation. It was something that has stuck with me since I actually tasted the beer three weeks ago. That I’m not drinking it now is slightly depressing. 95/100.

Up Next: It really doesn’t matter right now. Probably an IPA.

Beer Review #69: Stone Espresso Imperial Russian Stout

08 Tuesday Jul 2014

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July Reader Mail

Who’s the most famous person that you’ve ever met? – Clark from Ohio

The cat puppet from Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Not the puppeteer, just the puppet.

I’m having a lot of trouble getting girls to go home with me. Any good closing lines? – Steve from New York

No. You shouldn’t be using any lines. Tell them that it’s time to go back to your place or else.

My boyfriend won’t have sex with me when I’m having my period. Thoughts? – Jill from “I’m not telling you where I live”

You’re having too many periods. Stop it.

Like always, check out Facebook and Twitter for extra content and feel free to send an e-mail if you want to ask a question for next month’s mail dump. Here’s the review. Don’t drink stouts on hot Summer days.

Stone Espresso Imperial Russian Stout

Stone Espresso Imperial Russian Stout

Appearance: This is easily the darkest, most opaque beer that I’ve ever encountered. I put a flashlight behind it and not a single photon made it through this slick, oily stout. The head is a deep brown reminiscent of a sandy beach on the eastern U.S. coast. That head is thick and unforgiving. This beer looks like it wants to hurt you.

Smell: Lots and lots of coffee; like working the line at Waffle House when the only customers are edgy teens that won’t order food. A good vapor of alcohol fills the air as soon as the beer begins to pour. Sweetness.

Taste: This is a thick beer. You could chew it if you really wanted to. There’s a surprisingly high level of carbonation too.

It tastes of bitter dark roasted coffee, sweet malt, and finishes with a grating alcohol taste that really forces its way around your mouth. It’s certainly sweeter than I’d expect a Stone product to be and the taste really sticks with you for quite some time.

Overall: I just noticed that this beer is 11%. I am feeling each and every part of that. This is a beer for a man that has no obligations the next day. This is a beer that you’d drink if you wanted the world to know that you don’t give a fuck. I love stouts, they are my lifeblood, but, while this looks great, I can’t forgive that offensive alcohol presence that invades this experience. 81/100.

Up Next: Sierra Nevada Narwhal Imperial Stout

Beer Review #47: Stone Levitation Ale

31 Sunday Mar 2013

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Today I realized that I don’t know if it’s to babies or dogs that you can’t give chocolate. I was babysitting my one-year-old niece while eating a chocolate bar when the dog shimmied over. They both clearly wanted some of the chocolate and I knew for sure it was poisonous to one of them, but if I’m anything I’m fair; I gave them each a piece. Five minutes later I learned that nothing gets rid of the smell of dog and baby diarrhea mixed on shag carpet. To the review!

Stone Levitation

Stone Levitation

Appearance: Reminiscent of the autumn. A leaf fading to brown or maybe dry pine needles. Incredible clarity and lasting carbonation and a nice, thick, off-white head. Glorious aesthetics.

Smell: A very light and nuanced aroma. A bit of malt. Definitely some herbal notes. Very hard to read.

Taste: I’m immediately stricken by how smooth and refreshing this beer is; to say it goes down easier than Britney Spears’ career would be an understatement. The tastes are all very muted, but enjoyable. The malt comes through quite well, but I don’t get much in the way of hops. Maybe something reminiscent of apple though I may be forcing that. There’s a nice up-note in the wonderful way that this beer coats the mouth and its herbal aftertaste makes me grin wide.

Overall: This one was strange. It was so crisp and clean, the flavors so muted; I don’t know where to go. 84/100. I wanted more from the aroma, but this beer was gorgeous and I have no legitimate taste complaints. Fun Stuff.

Up Next: Columbus Brewing Co. Creeper