APRIL READER MAIL

What should I drink while I clean around the house? – Meg from Circleville

Cleaning products.

My dog has been having a lot of nightmares. This has been tearing my family apart. The kids are crying, my wife is packing a bag, and I’m just looking at our bank statements and I can’t get these numbers to work. Please help. – Josh from Agoura Hills

I got this e-mail like seven months ago. Let’s just assume this guy is dead and move on.

Better song: Do A Little Dance -or- Play That Funky Music? – George from Chicago

That’s a good question. In fact, it may be the first good question ever asked. I have to go with Play That Funky Music because everyone goes crazy during that chorus.

Penis pumps? – Laura from Canal Winchester

Yes.

Well that was as awful as it usually is. Share the Facebook and Twitter pages with your friends. Let’s boost this signal. Send e-mail questions too or next month is just answers to beer recommendations. I hate beer. Here’s a beer review.

Flying Dog Pale Ale

Appearance: I’m seriously considering forcing my girlfriend to go through the teleporter from “The Fly” while holding a glass of this so that I can have daily relations with this. In hindsight though, my girlfriend won’t let me near her so that may not be the best description.

It’s got the golden hue of unfiltered honey, very low carbonation, a dreamy haziness, and a sticky off-white head that leaves it’s mark once you’ve finished off your glass.

Smell: It’s bright and fresh. Big hops up front, unharvested grain, and tropical fruit

Taste: Not as exciting as I’d hoped. It’s got a watery feel and not much of any taste aside from hops, but even that taste isn’t very pronounced. There’s really no finesse here. It’s not bad, but I expected a lot more punch from a pale ale.

Overall: This one fooled me and now I’m mad. 68/100. I’ll concede that the graphic design on the bottle is awesome and this was fun to look at, but taste is where my bread is buttered.

Don’t forget to “like” and “share” with your friends. This review, not this beer.

Up Next: Dessert