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Booze and Other Nonsense

~ Musings of a psychopathic alcoholic, raconteurs, film buff, and more!

Booze and Other Nonsense

Tag Archives: Porter

Beer Review #59: Dieselpunk Porter

07 Friday Feb 2014

Posted by Vodka Barf in Beer Review

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Tags

Beer Review, Confederate Cat, Dieselpunk, Haunting, Porter

I don’t really believe in anything supernatural. I mean, I used every birthday wish from 1995 to 2001 on clearing up the New York skyline, but that was probably just a coincidence. I think that coincidence is probably responsible for most accounts

I woke up this morning, from a very pleasant dream about the film Se7en, to the sounds of my cat, General Robert E. Flea, having a nightmare; this almost always happens if we have Italian the night before so I expected this. I gently picked him up and began rubbing the small of his back, the way a mother would encourage an infant to burp.

At that very moment I noticed that my Victorian sleeping garments were covered in some sort of chlorine-scented ectoplasm, centered mostly around the region of my urinary meatus. It has a salty taste, reminiscent of the “mystery milk” that my grandfather weaned me on as an adolescent. He’s been dead for over a decade though.

If you have experience with these sorts of hauntings please contact me immediately. I really want to get the recipe from that ghost. Here’s a Dieselpunk Porter review. 

Dieselpunk Porter

Dieselpunk Porter

Appearance: A dark, cola-like black that takes on a deep ruby color when held to the light. The head is full of energy and explodes in size, quickly trickling down to almost nothing. It’s quick to reform after a good swirl and does lace fairly well.

Smell: Weak and sweet. There’s a very noticeable presence of freshly mowed grass and hops. You can also smell the alcohol coming off of it.

Taste: Christ Almighty! That is not what I expected. I’m a fool for a good porter so I typically know what I’m getting in to when I get a new one to try. This drinks more like a Black IPA than a porter.

Bitterness takes to the main stage here, backed up by a subtle, lingering, maple-like sweetness and strong carbonation. It’s quite crisp, which is unexpected given its slightly-thicker-than-medium body. Its seriously lacking in the traditional porter tastes though.

Overall: If this was labeled as a Black IPA I’d happily give it somewhere between an 80 to 85. As a porter though, it gets a 71. This is a decent beer, one that wouldn’t be bad in the right situation, but it’s not what was promised. I’m giving bonus points for the graphic design on the bottle too. I shouldn’t, but it is a pretty bottle.

Up Next: Probably something awful.

Beer Review #43: Left Hand Black Jack Porter

11 Friday Jan 2013

Posted by Vodka Barf in Beer Review

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Tags

Beer Review, Left Hand Black Jack Porter, Porter

Appearance: I was awestruck by the beautiful deep amber color of this beer as I poured it into my glass. It was nothing short of perfection. Once in the glass it takes on an impenetrable darkness with a this light tan head. My room is very quiet  an I can hear the carbonation coming off of the Black Jack as well. I’d call myself speechless, but I am typing this so…

Smell: I stuck my nose to far into the glass and when I inhaled I got a bit of liquid. I don’t know why I’m sharing that. Now that that’s been cleared up, the smell is a bit of a let down. There’s really not much there save for a bit of roasted grain and a very slight coffee aroma.

Taste: Again, a bit of a let down. There’s an immediate taste of alcohol that really cuts in to the other flavors. I get the sweet roasted malt taste that is typical of a porter along with the familiar coffee taste, though the coffee is very tame. There is a bit of hops in the finish, but one really has to focus for it. The sweetness of the malt is balanced, and I really appreciate that, but there’s not much else going on here.

Overall: From the marvelous appearance of this beer I was a bit disappointed after tasting it. It’s definitely not bad, but I would not recommend it over half of the porters that have been featured on this site. 72/100.

Up Next: Elevator Brewing Co. 1810 Oktoberfest.

Beer Review #36: Anchor Porter

27 Tuesday Nov 2012

Posted by Vodka Barf in Beer Review

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Anchor, Beer Review, Orgasm, Porter

Appearance: Dark. Perfectly dark. One of the darkest porters that I have ever encountered;  no light penetrates it in my glass. The head is a very thick creamy tan that beautifully envelopes the glass.

Smell: Elegant, sweet, succinct. The smell has the anticipated malt character of a porter along with a very slight amount of fruit. Dear god yes!

Taste: The malt comes off as very lightly roasted given the dark color of the beer. I get a rich chocolate and the fruit from the smell carries through a bit. It is medium bodied and comes with a shockingly delicate bitterness that vanishes instantly with the hoppy aftertaste.

Overall: There is nothing that I can say about this beer that hasn’t already been said about a perfect winter day. This was cozy, familiar, dark, serene and left me wanting to curl up with a blanket in front of a fire. I bought a six pack of this and dread drinking the last one. 95/100

Up Next: I don’t care.

Beer Review #21: Old Leghumper Robust Porter

29 Monday Oct 2012

Posted by Vodka Barf in Beer Review

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Beer Reviews, Old Leghumper, Porter

Apperance: Beautifully dark, barely letting any light through.This is exactly what I am looking for in a porter. Up to the light there is slight color: a deep bloody red, maybe brown. The head is thick and creamy, mocha colored. This is a beautiful beginning.

Smell: Freshly roasted coffee, but very faint. The smell has those typical malty notes that one expects from porter, but I would have expected it to be more pronounced.

Taste: The mouth feel is phenomenal  The chocolate is undeniably here, possibly too much, but I quite like it.

Overall: This one has caused me a great deal of frustration. It’s a very good porter, but the chocolate is almost too much. That being said, this is a fantastic beer that I would highly recommend to any lover of porters or stouts. 85/100 feels right.

Up Next: Sierra Nevada Pale Ale

Beer Review #11: Great Lakes Brewing Co. Edmund Fitzgerald

08 Monday Oct 2012

Posted by Vodka Barf in Beer Review

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Tags

Beer Review, Great Lakes, Porter

Appearance: A deep and dark brown, as one would expect from a porter, but when held up to light there is enough translucency to reveal a maple color. The head is creamy and medium bodied. Looks great!

Smell: It’s quite sweet smelling, almost like molasses. I suspect that I will describe the taste as malty.

Taste: Malty. In all seriousness, it’s like room temperature coffee as soon as it hits the tongue but goes into that great malt taste that one demands from a porter. Really great stuff.

Overall: I may be in love. 88/100. I’d drop my penis into a glass of it, but I’d probably faint as I watched the beer slowly drain down. I’m beginning to sense that I like porter a lot more than I initially assumed. Not sure yet. Buy this beer. Great Lakes had a great showing.

Up Next: Not sure. Maybe make a suggestion in the comments.

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