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Booze and Other Nonsense

~ Musings of a psychopathic alcoholic, raconteurs, film buff, and more!

Booze and Other Nonsense

Tag Archives: Great Lakes

Beer Review #65: Great Lakes Chillwave Double IPA

22 Tuesday Apr 2014

Posted by Vodka Barf in Beer Review

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Tags

Chillwave, Great Lakes, IPA, Pitches, TV

In trying to branch out and stop wasting my time writing beer reviews that are only read by my mom, I’ve started working on some pitches for TV shows. Here’s what I’ve got so far:

Manhunt: A real life version of “The Most Dangerous Game“, but with rubber bullets.

Ghost Prostitute: Gloria Horowitz runs a brothel in Tel Aviv. On one fateful night, she’s out of girls and one of her biggest clients is in town. She decided that she’ll take one for the team and do one last job herself.

Mid-coitus, her partner, who weighs 347 pounds, has a heart attack and dies; collapsing on top of her and cutting off her air supply. Because she’s a strict hasidic Jew, she can only have sex through a hole in a sheet. She dies in this sheet, and per ghost rules, roams the world wearing the last thing she was wearing. High jinks ensue as she tries desperately to make it in a world full of smarmy, 21st century ghosts as a stereotypical ghost in a sheet.

The Shot of a Lifetime: This is a reality show where six people in dire straights compete to win a million dollars. The catch? They have to play Russian Roulette on live television. We do everything in our power to find the people with the saddest stories so that America feels a deep connection to the eventual victim, who wins nothing. Only people that pull the trigger and win get cash.

LadyCop: Mark Ladycop is a seasonal worker at Honey Baked Ham, but his real dream is to be a beat cop in the NYPD. One day, while operating the slicer, he slips and receives a deep cut. Because he has a rare blood type, there is only one possible blood donor in the surrounding area: a woman that works as chief technician at the nuclear power plant. Transfused with her radioactive blood, once a month Mark LadyCop undergoes a transformation; growing a sweet pair of tits and legs that go on forever.

As a woman, Mark is able to finally join the police force due to quotas for minority hiring. He catches the attention of an other female officer and uses what he learns as a woman to woo her as a man. Unfortunately, Mark’s time as a woman also syncs up with his period and he is forced to spend most of his transformation with terrible cramps. Most of the show is about him learning how tampons work. Can a ham man makes it as lady justice? Find out this Fall on Fox!

A new month is soon upon us. If you want a question answered in the monthly reader e-mail segment just shoot a message to IgnoreThis@boozeandothernonsense.com, or literally anything that ends with “@boozeandothernonsense.com”. Also there’s Facebook and Twitter for fun updates and lazy comedy bits. Here’s a beer review.

Great Lakes Chillwave

Great Lakes Chillwave

Appearance: Deep, clear amber; I you found a mosquito trapped in this you could re-build Jurassic park. The head is a good half-inch of thick, off-white craters. Carbonation is beyond energetic at first, but then slows to something reasonable. As I drink, the lacing is doing a gorgeous dance down the side of my glass.

Smell: Huge amounts of fruit. Apricot, plum, nectarine, mango, grapefruit, peach. Fresh hops and wild flowers. It’s like walking through a farmer’s market.

Taste: All of those great smells come through spectacularly. The body is on the weak side of medium and the carbonation keeps things fresh. All that sweet fruit is well tempered by a striking aftertaste of hops and a dewy lawn that’s being blasted by the noon sun. The aftertaste will stick with you for a while.

Overall: Holy hell this was a treat. 94/100. I tend to talk down my higher reviews, but this was beyond criticism. Find it, buy it. It was an honor to be in the same room as this beer, let alone trickling it into my stomach. My liver may finally forgive me.

Up Next: Miller Fortune

Beer Review #48: Great Lakes Brewing Co.’s Conway’s Irish Ale

25 Thursday Apr 2013

Posted by Vodka Barf in Beer Review

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Beer Review, Conway's Irish Ale, Great Lakes

I’ve been busy. Wanna fight about it? Send all inquires to the George W. Bush Presidential Library and Museum, 2943 SMU Boulevard, Dallas, TX 75205. They know me there. Just tell them you want satisfaction.

Conways1Appearance: One is immediately awe-struck by the incredible effervescence of this beer. Bubbles are seemingly infinite in number, never ceasing in their endless rush to the top of my glass. I’ve attempted to capture this phenomena on film, but I am no photographer and there’s just too much movement to capture.

This beautiful motion is accompanied by a seductive, rich brown color. Darker than citrine and with a touch of red, it’s like staring into dark, hazel eyes. An off-white head completes this unbelievable picture and does us the favor of sticking around for quite some time.

Bubbles?

Bubbles?

Smell: Malt. More than anything you’d regularly expect though. A bit of citrus creates a deep, bold aroma that dominates all of the senses.

Taste: I’m immediately concerned by the thin to medium body of this beer; I expected something a bit more robust. The taste is rich in malt and the citrus carries through as well. The malt is pleasing, but does not make up for the fact that there is almost no presence of hops in this beer. I will say, however, that while there isn’t much of an aftertaste, my mouth feels fantastic after each drink.

Overall: Well I’m perplexed here. It looks and smells amazing, but the taste just isn’t there. Let me be clear though, I very much enjoyed this beer and intend on drinking it many times in the future, but there’s something missing. It gets perfect scores in appearance and smell, half of the taste points, and well… I give it 82/100.

Beer Review #39: Great Lakes Blackout Stout

13 Thursday Dec 2012

Posted by Vodka Barf in Beer Review

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Tags

Blackout Stout, Great Lakes

Appearance: I am a fan! The head is thick and tan. It holds its shape long after being poured and as bubbles burst it takes on the look of some alien landscape pelted by meteorites. The beer itself is powerfully dark. I held a light up directly next to my glass and not a single ray could penetrate it. A deep dark brown that straddles the line of being pitch black.

Smell: Rich and sweet smells that rivals even the best coffee.

Taste: The mouthfeels is thick and rich like the warm milk a mother prepares for an ailing child. It tastes of coffee with cream with a light bitterness throughout; reminiscent of dark chocolate. There is a sharp alcohol taste as soon as it hits the tongue that slowly fades through to the finish which,in turn, offers a slight hoppiness.

Overall: I’ll say it again, I am a fan. Looking at my half empty glass and the way that the head has accumulated along the sides – I am in heaven. This is easily one of the best looking beers that I have had. The only reason that I’m not giving this a near perfect score is because of the sharp alcohol taste and average aroma. 88/100.

Up Next: Not quite sure yet.

Beer Review #26: Great Lakes Brewing Co. Christmas Ale

07 Wednesday Nov 2012

Posted by Vodka Barf in Beer Review

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Beer Review, Christams Ale, Great Lakes, Winter Warmer

I am going to begin altering my scoring system a bit to take some of the randomness out of it. From now on I will award 25 points to appearance, 25 to smell, 25 to taste and save 25 points for those undefinable qualities. I will still only present the final score though. Just thought you’d like to know how this works. Let’s Go!

Appearance: I poured this into a chalice and I immediately thought of a red Christmas bulb. It’s a bit more amber colored than that, but it should give you a good idea. It’s truly perfect for this king of beer. The head is creamy and laces quite nicely on the glass.

Smell: I get a nice sweet maltiness and a lot of spice, almost the spices one would expect in a gingerbread cookie. Again, quite suitable.

Taste: I get that great maltiness and the spices carry through quite well. I’m getting cinnamon and nutmeg. This is a medium bodied beer with very little aftertaste, though it does coat the tongue nicely.

Overall: If I was reaching for something to keep me warm in the Winter this would definitely be a go to. 83/100. Great Lakes Brewing has been very, very good to me. I will have to get my hands on some of that Blackout Stout, but in the meantime…

Up Next: Magic Hat HI.P.A.

Beer Review #16: Great Lakes Brewing Co. Commodore Perry

16 Tuesday Oct 2012

Posted by Vodka Barf in Beer Review

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Tags

Beer Review, Commodore Perry, Great Lakes, IPA

Appearance: I’m first transfixed by this thick creamy head. It is quite substantial. The beer is copper colored and a tad cloudy. It’s quite pretty.

Smell: Very floral. It’s like walking out into your garden on a nice sunny day.

Taste: Sweet at first, but it quickly becomes distinctly hoppy. There is a bit of bitterness left on the tongue afterwards. I get an odd honey note as well. Pleasant in a way though.

Overall: This beer was peculiar in a good way. 72/100. This is definitely not an everyday beer, but could really turn a bright, sunny day on the porch into something special.

Up Next: Yeungling Lord Chesterfield Ale

Beer Review #11: Great Lakes Brewing Co. Edmund Fitzgerald

08 Monday Oct 2012

Posted by Vodka Barf in Beer Review

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Beer Review, Great Lakes, Porter

Appearance: A deep and dark brown, as one would expect from a porter, but when held up to light there is enough translucency to reveal a maple color. The head is creamy and medium bodied. Looks great!

Smell: It’s quite sweet smelling, almost like molasses. I suspect that I will describe the taste as malty.

Taste: Malty. In all seriousness, it’s like room temperature coffee as soon as it hits the tongue but goes into that great malt taste that one demands from a porter. Really great stuff.

Overall: I may be in love. 88/100. I’d drop my penis into a glass of it, but I’d probably faint as I watched the beer slowly drain down. I’m beginning to sense that I like porter a lot more than I initially assumed. Not sure yet. Buy this beer. Great Lakes had a great showing.

Up Next: Not sure. Maybe make a suggestion in the comments.

Beer Review #10: Great Lakes Brewing Co. Burning River

07 Sunday Oct 2012

Posted by Vodka Barf in Beer Review

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Tags

Beer Review, Burning River, Great Lakes

Appearance: I instantly thought of van Gogh’s “Wheatfield with Crows”. After a quick Google search it would seem that my guess paid off. A beautiful yellow, the color that beer should be. The head is weak and gone quickly after pouring.

Smell: Exactly what you’d expect from a craft brew pale ale. Definite hops. I don’t really get anything else.

Taste: Crisp and clean. Very nice taste from the hops and a shockingly pleasant aftertaste. Not particularly complex, but why does everything need to be complex?

Overall: 83/100. This would be a great place to start if you wanted to introduce yourself to ales. That’s not to say an experienced drinker wouldn’t like it, but it doesn’t have all of the negative qualities that a lot of first time craft brew drinkers associate with ale. Huge recommend.

Up Next: Great Lakes Edmund Fitzgerald, for real.

Beer Review #9: Great Lakes Brewing Co. Eliot Ness

07 Sunday Oct 2012

Posted by Vodka Barf in Beer Review

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Tags

Beer Review, Great Lakes

Appearance: Caramel, very clear. Maybe a light mahogany. Somewhere between Orange and Red. It’s quite pleasant. The head is medium bodied and lively. All lager should aspire for this color.

Smell: Floral. This reminds me of the garden in mid-March when the sun is finally starting to shine without the constant cloud cover of Winter. Clean. Inspiring.

Taste: Quite sweet from the malt, but I also detect a bit of citrus. I could benefit if it were a bit more hoppy, but this is no major failing.

Overall: A very nice beer. Amber lagers are one of my favorite everyday beers, something I can just sit back and drink all day. Eliot Ness does a great job of hitting  all of the marks that I look for in a great lager though I do find it a bit sweet. I think that it would benefit from additional hops. Be that as it may, 79/100.

Next: Great Lakes Edmund Fitzgerald.

Beer Review #8: Great Lakes Brewing Co. Dortmunder Gold

05 Friday Oct 2012

Posted by Vodka Barf in Beer Review

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Tags

Beer Review, Great Lakes

Appearance: Lively and Rich. This beer takes the color of stained cherry hardwood. Maybe metallic: copper. Quite pleasant indeed. The head is medium body but fades quickly.

Smell: The perfect balance of malty and hoppy. It’s as if each smell is at war and wants to win my hand in marriage.

Taste: Crisp, Clean, Captivating. This beer is very interesting; very complex. I get a spicy flavor and the malt has won the war. A real treat.

Overall: Definite buy. Get this in your booze hole now. 85/100. I see myself knocking this back while discussing the finer points of natural field versus astro turf (Natural by the way). Go buy some and have a fun time.

Next: Great Lakes…something…

Beer Review #3: Great Lakes Brewing Co. Nosferatu

03 Wednesday Oct 2012

Posted by Vodka Barf in Beer Review

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Tags

beer, Beer Review, Great Lakes

Appearance: Deep ruby red, almost violet with a thick white head that dissipates slowly.

Smell: floral notes from the hops, but not overpowering. Quite pleasant in fact.

Taste: Strong, very strong; this definitely has a higher ABV than most beers. The taste is quite hoppy and bitter in a good way.

Overall: This red ale is surprisingly balanced. I didn’t think that I’d enjoy it nearly as much as I did. I would recommend it to anyone that likes a strong beer. 74/100

Next: Molson XXX

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