• About Us
  • Beer Recommendations
  • Erotica
    • 12 Eggs, Garlic Bread, and a Bale of Hay
    • Porcelain Nights: Call of the Wild
    • Tearing Me Apart
    • The Modern Man
  • Movie Reviews
  • Sponsors
  • The Electric Honeygrass Experience

Booze and Other Nonsense

~ Musings of a psychopathic alcoholic, raconteurs, film buff, and more!

Booze and Other Nonsense

Tag Archives: Beer Reviews

Beer Review #49: Erdinger Weißbräu

06 Monday May 2013

Posted by Vodka Barf in Beer Review, Story Time

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Beer Reviews, Dan's Anus, Erdinger, Hefeweizen, N, Slide, Slip

One day my friend Dan and I went up  into my attic to find a Black Santa Claus figurine that we needed for a prank. Dan just assumed that I’d have one because I’m Black and I was incredibly upset when we learned he was right. More importantly, we also found an off-brand Slip-n-Slide.

We took it back with us to campus to add a little something to a Summer party, besides cheap booze and thinly veiled racism, and it was a hit. I noticed Dan was avoiding it so we all demanded that he go down. Upset and defiant, he agreed.

As he began his sprint I knew something was wrong because he started too far back and ran with the odd gait of a retarded horse trying to solve a Rubik’s cube. As he hit the thin, slick plastic his body buckled, he flew up, landed, and continued on his trip sitting Indian-style instead of the typical prone position.

Dan let out a great yelp and began spinning wildly out of control, leaving a deep red spiral of blood on the bright yellow kid’s toy. Apparently there had been a sharp rock pointing up through the plastic and Dan caught his anus on it. Screaming, and demanding medical attention, Dan demanded that some terrified girl survey the damage. She looked at me, began laughing uncontrollably, and said that it looked like a spiral-sliced Thanksgiving ham. I don’t eat ham anymore.

ErdingerBefore the review I must give credit to my stepfather for gifting to me a set of gorgeous beer glasses and my mother, who is both pictured at the bottom and half responsible for the genetics that bring you this nonsense, for hunting down the beer labeled on said glasses. Let’s review!

Appearance: As a self-proclaimed porter/stout snob I am always partial to a beer that blocks all light and this one does just that. This weißbier poured wonderfully, possibly benefiting from having the brewers glass, showing a nice thick head, strong carbonation, and a personally gratifying cloudiness.

The head is thick, white, and full of tiny bubbles that unfortunately prevent much of any retention or lacing. I’d describe the color as a slightly darker goldenrod or straw ready for harvest. The bubbles seem to be infinite.

Smell: It’s a bit weak, but I’m definitely getting the fruit smells one expects from a hefeweizen, but not banana in particular. It’s difficult to place. There really isn’t a great deal of any sort of aroma coming off of this beer. After a good swirl and deep inhale I get a noticeable wheat smell and some yeast too. The clove aroma that I expected is absent.

Taste: Very crisp, a result of the carbonation no doubt, with a pleasant medium body; I could drink this forever out on the porch on a nice sunny day. The lack of aroma definitely served as a predictor for the taste because there isn’t much really. The fruit is a lot more pronounced and a certain sweetness seems to take over everything else. A bit of wheat comes through too, but not much else. There’s little to no aftertaste.

Overall: I liked this beer, but I don’t really have a good reason for it. I’m a fool for aesthetic I guess. I can’t in good conscience rate this anything over 72/100, but I still like it a lot and intend on finishing this off under the sun. After some time the smell and taste did improve, but I’m not used to drinking hefeweizen too warm.

Up Next: The Fiftieth Beer Review Spectacular!

Beer Review #47: Stone Levitation Ale

31 Sunday Mar 2013

Posted by Vodka Barf in Beer Review

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Ale, Beer Reviews, Chocolate, Diarrhea, Stone

Today I realized that I don’t know if it’s to babies or dogs that you can’t give chocolate. I was babysitting my one-year-old niece while eating a chocolate bar when the dog shimmied over. They both clearly wanted some of the chocolate and I knew for sure it was poisonous to one of them, but if I’m anything I’m fair; I gave them each a piece. Five minutes later I learned that nothing gets rid of the smell of dog and baby diarrhea mixed on shag carpet. To the review!

Stone Levitation

Stone Levitation

Appearance: Reminiscent of the autumn. A leaf fading to brown or maybe dry pine needles. Incredible clarity and lasting carbonation and a nice, thick, off-white head. Glorious aesthetics.

Smell: A very light and nuanced aroma. A bit of malt. Definitely some herbal notes. Very hard to read.

Taste: I’m immediately stricken by how smooth and refreshing this beer is; to say it goes down easier than Britney Spears’ career would be an understatement. The tastes are all very muted, but enjoyable. The malt comes through quite well, but I don’t get much in the way of hops. Maybe something reminiscent of apple though I may be forcing that. There’s a nice up-note in the wonderful way that this beer coats the mouth and its herbal aftertaste makes me grin wide.

Overall: This one was strange. It was so crisp and clean, the flavors so muted; I don’t know where to go. 84/100. I wanted more from the aroma, but this beer was gorgeous and I have no legitimate taste complaints. Fun Stuff.

Up Next: Columbus Brewing Co. Creeper

Beer Review #24: Belhaven Scottish Ale

31 Wednesday Oct 2012

Posted by Vodka Barf in Beer Review

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Ale, Beer Reviews, Belhaven

Appearance: Cloudy and rust colored with maybe the creamiest and longest lasting head that I have ever had the pleasure of experiencing. The look of a great hearty rustic beer. Beautiful lacing!

Smell: A gentle malt aroma blends together with a slight note of caramel.

Taste: I expected a bit of thicker mouth-feel, but it is still a bit robust. The malt is instantaneous followed by fresh bread and dry fruit.

Overall: There is a lot going on here. 84/100.  Maybe too much, but all in all this was a good time.

Up Next: Magic Hat Hex Ourtoberfest.

Beer Review #21: Old Leghumper Robust Porter

29 Monday Oct 2012

Posted by Vodka Barf in Beer Review

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Beer Reviews, Old Leghumper, Porter

Apperance: Beautifully dark, barely letting any light through.This is exactly what I am looking for in a porter. Up to the light there is slight color: a deep bloody red, maybe brown. The head is thick and creamy, mocha colored. This is a beautiful beginning.

Smell: Freshly roasted coffee, but very faint. The smell has those typical malty notes that one expects from porter, but I would have expected it to be more pronounced.

Taste: The mouth feel is phenomenal  The chocolate is undeniably here, possibly too much, but I quite like it.

Overall: This one has caused me a great deal of frustration. It’s a very good porter, but the chocolate is almost too much. That being said, this is a fantastic beer that I would highly recommend to any lover of porters or stouts. 85/100 feels right.

Up Next: Sierra Nevada Pale Ale

Beer Review #12: Yuengling Amber Lager (Redo)

26 Friday Oct 2012

Posted by Vodka Barf in Beer Review

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Beer Reviews, Yuengling

Appearance: I am getting it poured from a draft into a chilled pewter mug so I can’t really tell you too much, but the lacing is amazing.

Smell: Quite Malty. Maybe slightly nutty

Taste: Crisp, malty as predicted. No aftertaste. Pedestrian really.

Overall: This was not exceptional. However, it beats most American beer. I would have this poured from a draft over your typical American fare, but would never buy a bottle. 65/100.

Up Next: No idea.

Beer Review #7: Bud Select

05 Friday Oct 2012

Posted by Vodka Barf in Beer Review

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Beer Reviews, Budweiser

Appearance: Like every other American pale lager. Nothing exceptional. Like a fake gold plated chain you’d see in the 90’s. The head is weak and quickly fades.

Smell: Not applicable.

Taste: Boring American pale lager. Nothing special at all.

Overall: It’s smooth and I guess you could pound it at your frat party. 29/100.

Next: Great Lakes Dortmunder Gold.

Categories

  • Beer Review
  • Behind Closed Doors
  • Humor
  • Lists
  • Movie Review
  • Reader Mail
  • Story Time
  • Trolling Craigslist
  • Uncategorized

Get Updates Through Facebook

Get Updates Through Facebook

Twitter Nonsense

My Tweets

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Sites I Like

  • Columbus Food and Beer
  • Fleeing Nergal, Seeking Stars

Ultimate Six Pack (Six Highest Rated Beers)

  • Anchor Porter
  • Franziskaner Weissbier
  • Murphy's Stout
  • Founders Breakfast Stout
  • Great Lakes Edmund Fitzgerald
  • Great Lakes Blackout Stout

Recent Posts

  • 2020 Year End Lists! January 3, 2021
  • 2019 Year End Lists January 1, 2020
  • Beer Review #87: Kirkland Signature APA (Costco Adventures #1) December 13, 2018
  • Zen and the Art of Fuck it. October 22, 2018
  • The Electric Whiskey Honey Test. February 28, 2018

Archives

  • January 2021
  • January 2020
  • December 2018
  • October 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • August 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • March 2016
  • December 2015
  • August 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012

Ignore This

  • Register
  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.com

Contact Us

Send Mail

Facebook

Twitter

Copyright 2012-2021

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Cancel

 
Loading Comments...
Comment
    ×
    Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
    To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy