So yeah, I haven’t posted anything in a good bit of time. I thought that there were only 52 beers, one for each week. I was only recently told that this is not the case.

So, what have I been doing in this time? Balls. As many of you probably know, I consider myself to be an expert in every field. That being said, I couldn’t answer the one fundamental question on everyone’s mind: “What do the balls float in?”

I’m back now with fewer answers than I started with and a second seam, but I’m still confident that science will solve this problem. Could I just do a quick web search? Sure, but how can I trust anything on the internet when this exists?

We’re going to be having some other writers contributing to the site soon. I have given them little to no oversight and hope that whatever they come up with causes you nothing but terror. Remember, Twitter and Facebook. Lets get to the beer review.

I swear this isn’t coke

Appearance: This beer is incredibly carbonated. It almost seemed like I had poured a coke into my glass in the stead of this stout. Bubbles rush up the dark black body into a light, cratered brown head that loses a lot of its substance and quickly settles into a thin wisp that floats nicely on top of the beer throughout my drinking.

Smell: dark roasted malt, coffee, and something naturally sweet, like honey.

Taste: Peculiar. Not a good peculiar. Chocolate, an unexpected bit of hops, an unpleasant burnt taste that lingers on through the aftertaste. The mouthfeel is completely not what I was expecting from a stout; it’s very watery in a disturbing way.

Overall: This came paired with Bass Pale Ale in a Black-and-Tan kit. Hopefully that ale holds up so that I can mix it with this stout and somehow bring myself to drink the rest of this. 48/100

Edit: It didn’t

Up Next: A lot, hopefully.