Tag Archives: Baby Geniuses

Beer Review #64: Revolution Brewing Juke-Box Hero Black IPA

13 Sunday Apr 2014

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I’ve been trying to get into stand-up comedy, but because I’m Black everyone expects me to tell jokes about the differences between races (I prefer half-marathons) and what it’s like to grow up in the ghetto (I’ve never been to Poland). My jokes are about catamarans, Blues Traveler, and being a great perimeter player in the NBA.

I really don’t have a lot in common with the Black community other than the fact that I’m a delinquent father, but that has little to do with me being Black and everything to do with my child being a disappointment. I’ve seen “Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2” enough times to know what this kid should be capable of. Now I know why they call it “Down’s Syndrome”; because it’s definitely given me the blues.

Cheer me up on Facebook and Twitter. Here’s the beer review.

Juke-Box Hero Black IPA

Juke-Box Hero Black IPA

Appearance: Effervescent. When the bottle opened it let out a great hiss and as I poured I could feel bubbles coming off of the stream. It foams up quite quickly, the head being colored like a spring breaker after half an hour on the beach and under the sun. He head is thin, but bulky and it dissipates into a mire of small bubbles.

It’s as black as one would hope a black IPA would be, but when held to the light it takes on the red of a freshly made brick or an old barn; it’s carmine.

Smell: Pine needles on a campfire. The first cut into an orange. Sweet malt.

Taste: On the thin side of a medium body and very crisp and bitter. It’s got all of the hops of an IPA, but there is a subtle sweetness from the dark roasted malt. There’s something that reminds me of burnt coffee in the aftertaste, but I can live with that. I was hoping for some of that orange aroma to come through.

Overall: Once again Revolution pleases me with their fantastic graphic design; the label looks great.

This could stand to be a bit sweeter, but, other than that this is a wholly enjoyable experience. Revolution is one of my favorite breweries and once again they’ve left me satisfied. As far as Black IPAs go, this was one of the best out there, but the Anti-Hero IPA, which they also produce, is still my go to from Revolution’s selection. Try this, let me know what you think. 81/100

Up Next: Great Lakes Chillwave

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Beer Review #50: 21st Amendment Hell or High Watermelon

18 Tuesday Jun 2013

Posted by in Beer Review, Humor

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Number 50. Well this took way longer than it should have. A wise man once said to me that you can use a thermometer to tell if a woman is ovulating. I felt pretty uneasy then and I have a similar feeling now.

Comedy and drinking are my two main passions, but life has been busy as of late. I’m back in the dating game and trying to raise a baby by myself. Dating is rough because I can’t meet a girls that shares my interests of her having low self-esteem, not eating, and Grand Funk Railroad.

The baby is just… In one word: Disappointing. I know you can’t expect a baby to do much, but I’ve seen “Baby Geniuses” six or seven times and those kids killed Dom Deluise or something; I can’t get through that movie sober.

Anyway, here’s a beer review. Share it, follow me on Twitter (@BoozeTweets), and like the Facebook page for sporadic humor and unreasonable demands.

Hell or High Watermelon

Hell or High Watermelon

Appearance: Murky and golden and volatile, all fun things to look at. The head is a bright white cloud that dissipates so very disappointingly quickly. The color almost seems like what one would stereotypically imagine as the color of beer, a strong yellow with a nice white halo.

Smell: There is a stunningly noticeable watermelon aroma. Not quite like fresh watermelon though, more like the smell one gets with watermelon candy. Also present is a very strong malty sweetness that I find overwhelming.

Taste: I’m a bit thrown off by the watermelon taste. It’s just like having a mouthful of liquefied watermelon jolly ranchers, something that I would probably enjoy, but not when I’m trying to enjoy a beer. This beer is totally lacking in any sort of balance. I’m knocked over the head by the combined sweetness of the watermelon  and malt. The body is nice and there’s a pleasant aftertaste reminiscent of tropical fruit, but the sweetness is just too much.

Overall: This is a great beer to have outside on a hot, sunny Summer day, maybe out by the pool or on the deck for a cookout, but that’s about it. I can’t ever see myself drinking this in any other situation. It’s not terrible, but in my mind it’s not beer. It looks great, I do have to give it that, but looks can rape your mouth with sugar. 58/100

Up Next: A stout. A damn stout in the Summer.