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Booze and Other Nonsense

~ Musings of a psychopathic alcoholic, raconteurs, film buff, and more!

Booze and Other Nonsense

Tag Archives: Amber Lager

Beer Review #66: Miller Fortune

10 Saturday May 2014

Posted by Vodka Barf in Beer Review

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Amber Lager, Miller Fortune, Mother's Day, Shower

It’s Mother’s Day weekend so I’d like to encourage all of my readers to think about their moms. I never had a mom, myself. I find the entire idea disgusting. What kind of 50-year-old woman likes giving baths to children? It seems like an excuse to rub kids and I am not cool with that.

I have a dad though and we do shower together, but that’s just because we believe that our real mother is Mother Earth and it’s important to conserve water. That, and I find him sexually attractive.

Before I get to this review, I beg someone to tell me why Miller is making this beer. What is the gimmick? It left me more confused than satisfied. Also, remember to follow us on Twitter and Facebook for updates. I’ll do the mailbag next week so submit any questions you have to one of our many e-mail addresses.

Miller Fortune

Miller Fortune

Appearance: Clean and clear. Fresh honey. Grain ready for harvest. The carbonation is strong and steady. A milky head pools in the middle of the glass. It feels almost romantic.

Smell: The first time you open a box of Corn Flakes, like artificial sweetener. There may be something else going in there, but it is very hard to get past the unnatural sweetness of this beer.

Taste: The insipid taste of a glass of water that you accidentally let sit in the sun for a few hours. A weak, watery body that leaves countless bubbles of carbon-dioxide all over the tongue. Some rice and a lot of corn syrup. It’s hard to get much else besides a lingering taste of alcohol. This beer is far too sweet.

Overall: I can’t think of any situation in which someone could enjoy this beer. There seems to be some gimmick behind it, but I can’t figure out what they were going for. Beer shouldn’t rely on a gimmick anyway. 46/100.

Up Next: Either a stout of some kind or Chimay Blue.

Beer Review #33: Budweiser Project 12 Batch No. 23185

16 Friday Nov 2012

Posted by Vodka Barf in Beer Review

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Amber Lager, Beer Review, Project 12

Appearance: Copper colored with lots of carbonation. The head pours thick and white and has a lot of lasting power. This beer looks great, but I have my reservations.

Smell: Malt and some other sweet notes.The bottle suggests vanilla and I am inclined to  agree.

Taste: Not what I expected and in a bad way. There is an overwhelming metallic taste that is nearly impossible to ignore. The aftertaste is slightly sweet, but masked by the offensive metal taste.

Overall: 39/100. Dear god avoid this. This was an enjoyable drinking experience until I actually drank it. I’m legitimately upset that a company is proud of this.

Up Next: The last of Project Twelve. Ughh. I hope it’s good.

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