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Booze and Other Nonsense

~ Musings of a psychopathic alcoholic, raconteurs, film buff, and more!

Booze and Other Nonsense

Category Archives: Lists

2021 Year End Lists!

29 Wednesday Dec 2021

Posted by Vodka Barf in Lists

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

2021, Lists

Well that year started awful, became tolerable, and now we are in the middle of another surge. We could all be surrounded by friends and loved ones, enjoying some ice-cold Surge from the 90’s, but people won’t take a free vaccine and my mom probably still won’t let me drink that particular soda.

Fingers crossed that 2022 isn’t like the sequel to ‘Look Who’s Talking’ and we get a 2020 too. I also hope it doesn’t prominently feature Roseanne Barr, but I’ll take what I get.

Here are the lists. These are, as always, objectively true and immutable.

Soups

5 – Mushroom Leek
4 – French Onion
3 – Corn Chowder
2 – Caldo Verde
1 – Lobster Bisque

Meat

5 – Shrimp
4 – Kielbasa
3 – Chicken Wings
2 – Carnitas
1 – Prime Rib

Egg Preparations

5 – Over Easy
4 – Soft-Boiled
3 – Deviled
2 – Poached
1 – Basted

TV Shows

5 – What We Do in the Shadows
4 – Curb Your Enthusiasm
3 – Taskmaster
2 – Succession
1 – How To with John Wilson

Worst Things

5 – The Delta Variant
4 – The School Up North
3 – The Omicron Variant
2 – Anti-Vaxxers
1 – The Insurrection at the Capitol Building

Condiments

5 – Honey
4 – Sour Cream
3 – Pickled Onion
2 – Sriracha
1 – Dijon Mustard

Best Things

5 – Gin
4 – Live Music
3 – COVID Vaccines
2 – Dick’s Den
1 – Friendship

Mega Man X Maverick Hunters by Level Song

5 – Chill Penguin
4 – Spark Mandrill
3 – Storm Eagle
2 – Boomer Kuwanger
1 – Armored Armadillo

Cats

5 – Tuna
4 – Rosie
3 – Larry
2 – Olly
1 – Cappuccino

Fruit

5 – Pineapple
4 – Lime
3 – Honeycrisp Apple
2 – Peach
1 – Strawberry

Things I Hate about 90’s Nickelodeon Game Show ‘Legends of the Hidden Temple’

5 – Kids failing to understand The Shrine of the Silver Monkey
4 – It’s just three fucking pieces! C’mon!
3 – Why would you not put the base on first?
2 – Hurry THE FUCK up!
1 – IT’S THREE FUCKING PIECES, KID!!!!! Do you even want a pair of sketchers and a SEGA Genesis?

Here’s a cloud formation that looks like Guy Fieri as a reward for reading this and to honor what he’s done for restaurant workers, bowling shirts, this, and frosted tips.

Sky Fieri

2019 Year End Lists

01 Wednesday Jan 2020

Posted by Vodka Barf in Humor, Lists

≈ Leave a comment

The year is over. Here’s the lists.

Races

5 – Marathon
4 – 100 Yard Dash
3 – Mile
2 – Hurdles
1 – 5K

Non-Chicken Eggs

5 – Spider
4 – Quail
3 – Duck
2 – Grey Alien
1 – Owl
 
Cats

5 – Larry
4 – Cat
3 – The Admiral
2 – Cappuccino
1 – Missy
 
Films of 2019

5 – Spider Man: Far From Home
4 – Good Boys
3 – Us
2 – John Wick 3
1 – Midsommar
 
Egg Preparations

5 – Basted
4 – Sunny-Side Up
3 – Poached
2 – Over Easy
1 – Soft Boiled
 
Worst Things

5 – Christmas
4 – Donald Trump
3 – Dave from Accounting
2 – Cleveland Browns
1 – Donald Trump
 
Fruits

5 – Bing Cherry
4 – Pears
3 – Grapes
2 – Tomato
1 – Peaches

Condiments

5 – Gravy
4 – Mayonnaise
3 – Avocado Slices
2 – Sriracha
1 – Spicy Brown Mustard

Ranking Star Wars Movies and State Seals

31 Sunday Dec 2017

Posted by britton120 in Lists

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Rank, Star Wars, State Seals

Hello heathens and thank you for joining me on another journey around the sun. This year I leave you with the definitive ranking of the 50 US State Seals, and Star Wars Movies.

How do I judge a seal? its easier to show you than to tell you. Generally if it is hard to read, interpret, or if it just looks stupid then its probably bad. If it looks generic or is a landscape it is probably average. But sometimes something stands out and makes the seal look majestic. So, here we go….

Terribly Bad
These need a re-design badly, like holy shit these are either ugly or stupid

50. Washington (Face of Washington)
Washington

49. Alabama (A MAP)
Alabama

48. Kentucky (awful design)
Kentucky

47. South Carolina (seal-ception)
SouthCarolina

46. Tennessee (Agriculture….Commerce)
Tennessee

45. Connecticut (Oval and Grapes)
Connecticut

44. Iowa (Don’t Dead Open Inside)
Iowa

43. Nevada (Ew)
Nevada

Below Average
Needs a re-design but it is not embarrassing, generally are boring though

42. Georgia (Wis Dom Moder Ation)
Georgia

41. Massachusettes (Tries too hard)
Mass

40. North Carolina (Boring)
NorthCar

39. Arizona (Moderately Ugly)
Arizona

38. New Mexico (Underwhelming)
NewMexico

37. Idaho (Busy busy busy…)
Idaho

36. New Jersey (Godfather part Seal)
NewJersey

35. Arkansas (Too much going on, poorly laid out)
Arkansas

Average or Silly
Could use an update, but generally okay or memorable

34. Louisiana (Pelicans)
Louisiana

33. Maine (Dudes)
Maine

32. Mississippi (Overcompensating for the civil war)
mississippi

31. Illinois (Doesn’t remind me of Illinois)
Illinois

30. Wisconsin (Goofy)
Wisconsin

29. Missouri (Bears massaging a circle)
Missouri

28. Delaware (Two Boring Dudes)
Delaware

27. Utah (Boring)
Utah

26. Indiana (Should swap this with Illinois)
Indiana

25. Vermont (Best on a Sweater)
Vermont

24. Virginia (This is a seal?)
Virginia

23. Florida (Neat idea, bad execution)
Florida

Good Seals
Not amazing but these get the job done and don’t need a re-design

22. West Virginia (Reminds me of the state)
WestVirginia

21. Minnesota (Bizarre but charming)
Minnesota

20. Michigan (Elk caressing a crest)
Michigan

19. Nebraska (Hard at work)
Nebraska

18. Wyoming (Two cool dudes)
Wyoming

17. Ohio (Warms the heart)
Ohio

16. Colorado (ILLUMINATI)
Colorado

15. South Dakota (Neat)
SouthDakota

14. Pennsylvania (Almost Great)
Penn

Great Seals
These are some great seals but they aren’t in the top 5

13. Oregon (Cool)
Oregon

12. Kansas (Looks like Kansas)
Kansas

11. Maryland (Two Awesome Dudes)
Maryland

10. Montana (Serene)
montana

9. Oklahoma (Lots going on, but they make it work)
Oklahoma

8. Alaska (Makes me want to move to Alaska)
Alaska

7. Texas (Star)
Texas

6. North Dakota (Really Cool)
North Dakota

God Tier
Damn good seals

5. Rhode Island (Simple but effective)
Rhode Island

4. New York (Regal)
NewYork

3. New Hampshire (Intangibles)
NewHamp

2. California (Awesome)
OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

1. Hawaii (Perfection)
Hawaii

 

There we have it, now the Star Wars rankings….

9. The Phantom Menace

8. Attack of the Clones

7. Rogue One

6. The Force Awakens

5. Revenge of the Sith

4. Return of the Jedi

3. The Last Jedi

2. The Empire Strikes Back

1. A New Hope

Have a happy 2018

Ultimate Drinkmaster

30 Saturday Dec 2017

Posted by britton120 in Lists

≈ Leave a comment

Note: This was written in spring of 2017 for the first season of Ultimate Beastmaster, but it was lost to time… until now. Season 2 is on Netflix and most of the rules still apply. Enjoy.

You may have noticed that new Ninja Warrior knockoff that Netflix made…the Ultimate Beastmaster. In this ultimate test of strength, endurance, and jumping ability, 6 nations compete for the title of Ultimate Beastmaster.

Why is it called the Ultimate Beastmaster? Because the course is called the Beast. That isn’t even the weirdest part of this experience. Some obstacles have body part related names, others have silly names like “dreadmills” instead of treadmills. The water below is blood on levels 1 and 2, but becomes fuel on level 3. The final round is called the Power Source, which is the mitochondria of the Beast.

Now as bad as this show sounds, we at Booze and Other Nonsense recommend you watch this show. However, only watch it with these rules in place. Otherwise the show may kill you. These rules will not make any sense unless you watch the show.

The rules:

  1. Select a nation before the episode begins. Finish your drink if your nation is eliminated from that episode.
  2. Drink every time someone gets a point thruster, also say point thruster before you drink.
  3. Drink every time someone actually completes the level without failing.
  4. On level 1: Drink every time someone fails on or before the Faceplant.
  5. On level 2: Drink every time someone fails to ascend the spinal column.
  6. On level 3: Drink every time someone fails on the ejector.

For extra fun… Drink every time the Brazilian and German commentators interact on camera. Or France and Italy if you are in the second season.

Now go out there and beast all that you can beast.

What I’ve Been Doing These Past Two Years Besides Writing on This Blog (Actually REALLY Cool Stuff)

19 Thursday Jan 2017

Posted by Ms. Ann Thrope in Lists

≈ Leave a comment

So yeah, everyone’s asking me all the time like, “Why’d you stop writing for BOT?” and I’m just like, “Girl, can you not?” because I literally have SO. MANY. good reasons that I took a break from all this bullshit. That’s right, it was a break. I didn’t even stop writing completely. I just wasn’t writing on this ONE website so y’all can chill now. STOP FREAKING OUT. It’s not like taking a two year break is unheard of. Lots of people take two year breaks from shit, like when I took a two year break from coke in rehab. That doesn’t mean I’m suddenly not a coke-head after I took a two year break. So it’s not like after two years I’m not Ms. Ann Thrope anymore either. Even though that’s what the media would like you to believe.

I KNOW that all the magazines say I joined a cult to try and battle my inner demons but that’s so not true. I don’t even know what a demon is! How could I join a cult to fight something that I don’t even know about? You want to know the real reason I disappeared for two years? I’ll give it to you in a nice buzzfeed-type list without the gifs to make it nice and easy for you.

  1. The reason I’m famous is because of my looks, not my writing. I have OTHER things to do besides write, like look fucking amazing. It’s hard work, and no, you wouldn’t understand so don’t even start with that shit.
  2. The CEO of Booze and Other Nonsense said that I had to stop selling my products on his site, and said that all my ideas sucked. HE SUCKS.
  3. I’M A CEO NOW. I’m too busy to be writing dumbass articles for some beer review site. I’m now a thriving entrepreneur who sells filters to SNAPCHAT for your dick to make it glamorous. Your dick is already amazing. Imagine it with a cute duck face! What’s more is that the filters only cost 25 cents* each. It’s a great deal, for a great service!
  4. I went to Alaska for a cruise. There isn’t even internet there because it’s so cold. I guess the computers froze! How am I supposed to write on an online blog in ALASKA?
  5. I’ve been managing Trump’s twitter account. Ever wonder how all that depth and insight fits into 140 characters? That’s me, bitch.
  6. I joined a really cool club, that was NOT a cult. They changed my name to Jane and said I shouldn’t wear my hear up anymore because it’s too masculine. They also broke my computer because I was being tempted by false idols, which was super helpful. They were REALLY nice! NOT A CULT.

So I guess the main point of this article would be that you shouldn’t judge me based on what you’ve heard from the media, and should realize that I’m actually a really great person. Maybe even the best person. And if you need any special filters for a special friend, you know who to call.

*25 cents is a REALLY good deal. DON’T PASS THIS UP.

Beer Review #82: Miller High Life

03 Wednesday Aug 2016

Posted by Vodka Barf in Beer Review, Lists

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

AIDS, Bugs, Chipotle, High Life, Kazaam, Lists, mail, Miller, Spiders, Trump

August Reader Mail

What do you think of Donald Trump? – Steve from D.C.

He’s a demagogue that’s giving a voice to bigots. He want’s to pull out of our strategic alliances and use our nuclear arsenal as a first strike option; undoing several decades worth of work that’s kept the world more safe. He lacks any real substance or experience so he makes up for it by acting like a clown and attacking his opponents with personal insults. He can barely run his campaign and he’d have more money today if he’d just invested all that money his dad gave him into an unmanaged index fund.

All that being said, he’s provided me hours upon hours of entertainment so what’s not to like? Sure, I’m interacting with way more openly racist people than I was a year ago, but that’s a small price to pay for this orange carnival barker’s three ring circus.

What the hell is going on with these reviews? Did you just buy a bunch of shitty beer at a gas station? Are you going to review anything good? – Dave from Mississippi

I’ll answer all three questions in order: I’m punishing myself, yes, I hope so.

It’s been a long time since we’ve had some good lists. Got any in you? – Anonymous

We’re well into Anal August so let’s do the 2016 Summer Lists:

Presidential Candidates Spouses by Hotness

5- Bill Clinton
4- Kelley Paul
3- Karen Kasich
2- Jeanette Rubio
1- Melania Trump

Bugs

5- Butterfly
4- Spider
3- Mantis
2- Bee
1- Firefly

Non-Chicken Eggs

5- Spider
4- Human
3- Goose
2- Sturgeon
1- Duck

Chipotle Proteins

5- Steak
4- Chicken
3- Sofritas
2- Barbacoa
1- Carnitas

Things To Yell Right Before Orgasm

5- “Bazinga!”
4- “Team Rocket’s Blasting Off Again!”
3- “Who’s Your Grandpa?!”
2- “I TOLD YOU NOT TO LOOK AT MY FACE!”
1- “Feel the Bern!”

People ask you for dating advice all the time, how’s your love life going? – [REDACTED] from [REDACTED]

Mom, you’ve already got a couple grand kids. If this is tied into how your will pays out then I might go hose some women down, but until then I’m using my horrible personality and awful face as my primary form of birth control.

If you’re actually just interested, I’ve had one decently long relationship this year. She and I had a lot in common: fear of someone driving a steamroller over you and your skeleton popping out of your mouth, gin, that feeling you get when you look to the west, children experiencing disappointment publicly, bawdy limericks, and seeing her naked.

It all ended the same way it began: The 1996 Shaquille O’Neal film ‘Kazaam’.


Well that was as awful as usual. Remember to add us on Facebook and Twitter if you want to bother someone. I promise to not insult you if you’re the right race.

Yep, that's it alright.

Yep, that’s it alright.

Appearance: Energetic and crystal clear. A decent white head builds up, but only leaves a thin floating island of foam floating in the top of my glass. It’s has the unnatural almost neon yellow color of most American light beer. Fairly large bubbles fill up the sides of the glass.

Smell: A poorly insulated attic a day after light rain. Burnt hair.

Taste: A pretty decent medium-bodied beer with a fair bit of astringency. The flavor is flat and one-note: just charred malt. There’s absolutely nothing else.

Overall: This was significantly worse than I assumed it would be. At least the other terrible light beers had a bit of flavor and didn’t smell so bad. This looked fine enough, but I like a girl with personality. 31/100.

Up Next: Something bad!

2015 Year End Lists

30 Wednesday Dec 2015

Posted by Vodka Barf in Lists

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Beers, Burgers, Eggs, Movies, Pork, Races, TV

2015 was a great year for saying really shitty things about immigrants and casual racism. Let’s see what else it had to offer by ranking some of the best things of the year!

Best Egg Preparations

5- Soft Boiled
4- Deviled
3- Poached
2- Basted
1- Over Easy

TV Shows

5- Hannibal
4- Daredevil
3- Mr. Robot
2- Fargo
1- Better Call Saul

Action Films

5- Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation
4- Sicario
3- Kingsman: The Secret Service
2- Star Wars: The Force Awakens
1- Mad Max: Fury Road

Fast Food Burgers

5- Burger King
4- White Castle
3- Steak N’ Shake
2- Wendy’s
1- Rally’s

Races

5- Eskimo
4- Latino
3- Black
2- White
1- Eastern Asian

Drinking Scenarios

5- Tailgating
4- Chilling and Grilling
3- Hot Toddies after coming in from shoveling snow
2- Staying out at a bar until the sun comes up
1- At a baseball game with close friends on a nice day

Cuts of Pork

5- Ham
4-
Cheeks
3-
 Belly
2- Tenderloin
1- Ribs

 

Top One List of Best After School Activities.

29 Saturday Mar 2014

Posted by bigdaddyd1239 in Lists

≈ 1 Comment

… and finally!!! The number one best after school activity!

1) Crushing up 90 milligrams of your friends Adderall, snorting it with a box-o-wine chaser, and yelling at your parents (12 hours later while shoveling snow off the driveway after a light flurry at 3:45 AM on a Friday morning). 

Get all your favorite Top One lists here at BaON.

D

Beer Review #57: Miller Lite

22 Wednesday Jan 2014

Posted by Vodka Barf in Beer Review, Lists

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

2013 lists, Miller Lite, pain train

Some Late, Year-End Lists

Films of 2013
5. Iron Man 3
4. Now You See Me
3. This is the End
2. Dallas Buyers Club
1. The Wolf of Wall Street

2013 Egg Preparations
5. Soft-Boiled
4. Shirred
3. Over Easy
2. Poached
1. Basted

Best Things About the New Pope
5. Not overtly evil
4. Relaxing, turtle-like appearance
3. Smells of lilac
2. Girth
1. Unaccounted for during the Natalie Wood incident

Worst Things About the 90s
5. The Green Power Ranger
4. Perfection
3. The Spice Girls
2. The Phantom Menace
1. The Shrine of the Silver Monkey

If you have any suggestions for future lists just e-mail Ignore@boozeandothernonsense.com . I promise nothing. Beer review time…

DSCN0235

Appearance: As clear as the eyes of someone that has a drug test at the end of the week and colored like the phlegm of a twenty-year smoker. All that aside, this beer actually looks impressive: a good frothy head slowly falls into a hazy crown on top of a slow bubbling elixir. The carbonation here is truly mesmerizing in how constant, slow, and uniform it seems. Color aside, this is top-notch for an American pale lager.

Smell: Strong cereal grain and sugar. Not particularly what I’d ever be looking for.

Taste: Very watery with regards to mouthfeel and taste; I’m immediately put off by that. It’s so thin-bodied that it’s impossible to enjoy. It tastes sweet, but I’m not sure what kind of sweetness it is; very artificial. There’s a faint biscuit-like taste that could be nice, but even with the watery disposition of this beer that taste doesn’t carry very well. There is no aftertaste.

Overall: A good beer should be about balance. Bitter is not always bad and there is such a thing as too sweet. This beer just lacks substance. I will say that I was shocked by how nice it looked and I’m equally impressed with the lacing. A beer can’t live on that alone though. 41/100.

Up Next: Busch Light (The pain train continues!)

2012 Year End List Spectacular!

30 Sunday Dec 2012

Posted by Vodka Barf in Lists

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

ads, Ducktales, egg, hottest, Lists

Here is a list of things that I’ve listed. Enjoy. If you disagree with any you are wrong.

Egg Preparations
5. Shirred
4. Soft-Boiled
3. Basted
2. Poached
1. Over Easy

Worst Political Ads
5. Todd Akin – “Forgiveness”
4. Mitt Romney – “Cherished Relationship”
3. Priorities USA – “Understands”
2. Thomas Peterffy – “Freedom To Succeed” 
1. Rick Perry – “Strong” 

Birds
5. Crow
4. Red Hawk
3. Peregrine Falcon
2. Cardinal
1. Bald Eagle

TV of 2012
5. The League
4. Justified
3. Bob’s Burgers
2. Homeland
1. Breaking Bad

Worst Songs To Bang To
5. “Paradise by the Dashboard Light” – Meatloaf
4. “One” – Metallica
3. “We are the World” – USA for Africa
2. “Only Women Bleed” – Alice Cooper
1. “Cat’s in the Cradle” – Harry Chapin

Ladies of 2012
5. Sofia Vergara
4. Miranda Kerr
3. Mila Kunis
2. Alessandra Ambrosio
1. Marisa Miller

Personal Moments of 2012
5. Reason Rally
4. Getting a Roommate/New Friends
3. Business Cards/This Website
2. Earning a Mug at Bernie’s
1. The Ohio State – Michigan Game and Perfect Football Season

Science Fiction Novels
5. Neuromancer
4. Slaughterhouse 5
3. The Forever War
2. Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
1. Ender’s Game

DuckTales Characters
5. Gladstone Gander
4. Flintheart Glomgold
3. The Beagle Boys
2. Scrooge McDuck
1. Fenton Crackshell

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