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March Reader Mail

So who do you think is going to win the election? – Tamara C. from Boise

I really need to start posting more regularly…

What dinosaur is best? – Anonymous

Do birds count? Fried chicken.

What’s a nice beer for the Winter? – Dale from Albany

I really, really need to start posting more regularly. Try the Anchor Porter.

I’m going to college this coming Fall. Do you have any advice for incoming Freshman? – Reese from Culver City

Join a couple student groups, don’t be afraid to be turned down, get as much free food as possible, find a liquor that you enjoy, don’t schedule classes before nine, and be confident. Most of all, have fun.

What are you the worst at? – Anonymous

Answering the reader mail.

Night Moves” is a song by the American singer-songwriter Bob Seger. It was the lead single from his ninth studio album, Night Moves (1976), released on Capitol Records. Seger wrote the song as a coming of age tale about adolescent love and adult memory of it. It was based on Seger’s own teenaged love affair he experienced in the early 1960s. It took him six months to write and was recorded quickly at Nimbus Nine Studios in Toronto, Ontario, with producer Jack Richardson. As much of Seger’s Silver Bullet Band had returned home by this point, the song was recorded with several local session musicians. – Helen W. from New York City

I don’t understand why someone sent me the Wikipedia article for the song Night Moves, but I’ll try to tackle this question.

Don’t go around digging up dead bodies, wearing them, and stalking prostitutes. They are people too. Just give them a twenty and they’ll probably do whatever. They’re people, but they’re also desperate.

Oh, and use a condom.

We have dishonored all of God’s creation

Appearance: Very carbonated with a pale straw color, slightly opaque body, and a white head that hangs around for a bit.

Smell: Just malt.

Taste: Very, very watery mouthfeel with an indescribably unpleasant taste. I legitimately can’t figure out how to describe this. It’s like if you mom was on the phone with your dad and asking why the child support check was late again and then she starts crying. Also, the aftertaste is awful and won’t go away.

Overall: This was an all around terrible experience. I can’t believe that the homeless man in front of the gas station didn’t have the discerning palate that he claimed to have. This is the last time I give any panhandlers any money unless they can recommend a fortified wine to pair with a microwave burrito or maybe offers to assassinate one of my enemies or something. I’ll give this a 12/100 and that’s only because it didn’t look entirely awful. I seriously hope that homeless man was frozen over the Winter.

Up Next: Schlitz, because there is no god.