Monthly Archives: March 2017

Beer Review #86: Olde English “800”

28 Tuesday Mar 2017

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March Reader Mail

So who do you think is going to win the election? – Tamara C. from Boise

I really need to start posting more regularly…

What dinosaur is best? – Anonymous

Do birds count? Fried chicken.

What’s a nice beer for the Winter? – Dale from Albany

I really, really need to start posting more regularly. Try the Anchor Porter.

I’m going to college this coming Fall. Do you have any advice for incoming Freshman? – Reese from Culver City

Join a couple student groups, don’t be afraid to be turned down, get as much free food as possible, find a liquor that you enjoy, don’t schedule classes before nine, and be confident. Most of all, have fun.

What are you the worst at? – Anonymous

Answering the reader mail.

“Night Moves” is a song by the American singer-songwriter Bob Seger. It was the lead single from his ninth studio album, Night Moves (1976), released on Capitol Records. Seger wrote the song as a coming of age tale about adolescent love and adult memory of it. It was based on Seger’s own teenaged love affair he experienced in the early 1960s. It took him six months to write and was recorded quickly at Nimbus Nine Studios in Toronto, Ontario, with producer Jack Richardson. As much of Seger’s Silver Bullet Band had returned home by this point, the song was recorded with several local session musicians. – Helen W. from New York City

I don’t understand why someone sent me the Wikipedia article for the song Night Moves, but I’ll try to tackle this question.

Don’t go around digging up dead bodies, wearing them, and stalking prostitutes. They are people too. Just give them a twenty and they’ll probably do whatever. They’re people, but they’re also desperate.

Oh, and use a condom.

We have dishonored all of God’s creation

Appearance: Very carbonated with a pale straw color, slightly opaque body, and a white head that hangs around for a bit.

Smell: Just malt.

Taste: Very, very watery mouthfeel with an indescribably unpleasant taste. I legitimately can’t figure out how to describe this. It’s like if you mom was on the phone with your dad and asking why the child support check was late again and then she starts crying. Also, the aftertaste is awful and won’t go away.

Overall: This was an all around terrible experience. I can’t believe that the homeless man in front of the gas station didn’t have the discerning palate that he claimed to have. This is the last time I give any panhandlers any money unless they can recommend a fortified wine to pair with a microwave burrito or maybe offers to assassinate one of my enemies or something. I’ll give this a 12/100 and that’s only because it didn’t look entirely awful. I seriously hope that homeless man was frozen over the Winter.

Up Next: Schlitz, because there is no god.

Review: Loafing Around

12 Sunday Mar 2017

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I only gave myself one parameter to measure my status of keeping shit together: making it to the gym. It has been a solid week since I’ve stepped foot in there and I can easily say that I have failed to meet that simple parameter. Going to the gym requires being of sound body and I have not been nurturing myself as I should be. Cooking just hasn’t been something I have been able to bring myself to do so I have just been eating bread and hummus, which has left me feeling drained and weak. That could also be the result of going to the bar every single night and closing the place down each time. The past few days have been the same: napping all day while watching The Simpsons and then going out drinking and talking to strangers all night. I have met more people in the past week than I did in the year that we were together. We’ll see where this goes, but I rate spiraling into self destruction: 93%

Review: Powdered Peanut Butter

07 Tuesday Mar 2017

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As this is my first entry, I feel as though I should let you know what I intend to do with my entries. My therapist said writing would be a great way for me to help boost my sense of self worth and gather together my thoughts on day to day experience. Journaling sucks because I feel like some things just need to be shared. So I decided to talk about the random things I come across in my daily life, whether they be restaurants, new recipes, or life experiences in the hopes that these entries might bring you some additional knowledge of the world around you and maybe every now and then make you laugh.

For example, I recently separated from my partner. I received my invitation to contribute to this website coincidentally on the first day I’ve been sober since things ended. The last two weeks have been a blur of anxiety and depression about what is going to happen to the apartment we share. Sub review: I give living with a partner .316 stars out of 5 and would only recommend it if your only other option is being homeless.

For a few days, I thought I was going to get stuck paying the rent, which I can’t afford on my own. So that lead to thoughts of self harm and disappearing off the face of the Earth. In all fairness, it doesn’t take much for those thoughts to surface rather quickly. Out of desperation, we agreed to continue living together for now and I hope a magical fairy will agree to sublease the place before I throw myself off the balcony. We fight nearly every day and having to look at the face of the person who broke my heart is the gasoline on the fire of my alcoholism.

That being said, I was surprisingly pleased with the powdered peanut butter. I added it to a protein smoothie with frozen bananas, frozen peaches, and almond milk. The couple of bits of peanut butter that didn’t get totally blended up had a surprisingly pleasant peanut butter-like texture and it didn’t leave an impossible-to-clean mess inside my blender. Rating: 74%