Monthly Archives: February 2015

Beer Review #74: Stone Enjoy By (2/14/15)

27 Friday Feb 2015

Posted by in Beer Review

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , ,

I lost a good ale while walking around the house the other day. I’m not yet desperate enough to suck spilled beer out of the carpet, so I’ve chosen to memorialize that lost soul in poem form.

I think that I shall never hear
a song sad as a wasted beer.

A beer whose frothy contents spilled
and left my cravings yet unfulfilled.

A beer I longed for all the day.
to wash my pointless cares away.

A beer that filled my glass with flair
but tumbled as I missed a stair.

Upon the floor its suds have lain
and cause me to cry out in pain.

Sobriety, us boozers fear
is best tamed with an ice cold beer.

Remember the Facebook and Twitter pages for updates. Send e-mail too. If you don’t the terrorists win.

Stone Enjoy By...

Stone Enjoy By…

Appearance: Striking. Crystal clear golderrod mirred only by the incessant tiny bubbles that move with passion. A thick creamy head that sticks to your upper lip in a way that you only see in the movies. The head sticks hard to the sides of the glass, not lacing so much as slowly oozing down and covering everything. This is a marvel

Smell: Big hops; like walking through a meadow after a soft rain, the sun beaming down on your face as it slowly bakes the grass and fills the air with scents of a perfect Spring day. Like getting flowers when it’s not even a special occasion.

Taste: Oddly tame, I expected to be stabbed in the back of the throat with hops and bitterness. Medium-bodied and incredibly drinkable.

A nice bit of citrus cuts through everything and keeps you refreshed and wanting more. It finishes mush sweeter than I’d expect for this kind of beer. Mango or something tropical. It totally caught me off guard. For the most part it tastes like it smells with is damn near perfect.

Overall: Buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy! This was a revelation. It was something that has stuck with me since I actually tasted the beer three weeks ago. That I’m not drinking it now is slightly depressing. 95/100.

Up Next: It really doesn’t matter right now. Probably an IPA.

Beer Review #73: Blue Moon

08 Sunday Feb 2015

Posted by in Beer Review

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , , ,

February Reader Mail

How do you feel about cider? I think a warm cider is nice on a cold day. Even a nice crisp cider in the Summer feels great. – Martha from Boston

Fuck off you old bag of bones. Martha? No one is named Martha.

Any predictions for the Superbowl? – Anonymous

Sure. 28-24 Pats. (I really need to start answering the questions as I get them.)

You’re just some fat, single, loser that spends all his time drinking instead of being productive. Your site is a joke and highly offensive. – Ginger from Ontario

Okay, well there’s a lot going on here.

First, I’m not fat. I’m at the forefront of bringing bulimia back in style with my “Bulimia: It’s Not Just For Women” ad campaign so I’d appreciate a little bit of recognition for all that hard work.

bulimia

Second, sure I’m single, but I’m working on it. I’ve met a couple girls through OKCupid recently. Admittedly it hasn’t gone great, but at least I’m working on it. My last date ended with me telling the girl I wasn’t interested in meeting again, her screaming at me that my life is just going to be one big sausage party if I don’t accept “women of size,” and me screaming back that every day of her life is a sausage party.

Lastly, I was the recipient of over thirteen hugs from my mom over the course of the last decade and if that’s not winning then I don’t know what is.

How do you know the name and location of the people that send e-mails? – Ben from Chicago

Well now you know.

Cut your electric bill by up to 80% with solar panels! – Home Solar Savings

I live on the moon and the moon is only out at night you idiots. Why don’t you push your wares on Tatooine or something?

As always, Check out the Facebook and Twitter pages for updates. Send e-mail too. It gets lonely out in space.

Blue Moon

Blue Moon

Appearance: What is it about an unfiltered beer that just seems so right? I feel like we’re seeing what nature intended; something that hasn’t been overly disturbed by man, that stands as a testament to the beauty of the brewing process.

It has a citrusy hue, tangerine, but there’s an otherworldly glow caused by being unfiltered. The head pours white and vanishes before I can snap a photo. It feels a bit dead inside, the occasional tiny bubble losing its grasp on the side of my glass.

Smell: Fresh grain and the smell of a dewy lawn just as the first light of the sun begins to warm it up. Tropical fruit.

Taste: A surprisingly thin body and even more surprising crispness. The grain comes through nicely, but everything else is flat. It’s not particularly sweet, or bitter, or spicy, or herby.

Overall: This is a mass produced beer that wasn’t given much love. Instead it got some cheap plastic surgery and a Wonder-bra, superficial aesthetics instead of any real substance. This could be enjoyed by someone dipping their toe into the waters of wheat beers, but there are so many better options out there that I’d never consider buying this. 52/100.

Up Next: Enjoy By…