September Reader Mail

Any ideas for the grill? – Bo from Virginia

Get good at making burgers. A proper burger will make you King of Summer. I go with 80/20 chuck and mix in salt, pepper, cayenne, garlic powder, onion powder, paprika, and a bit of sage. Try not to over mix. Brushing on a thin layer of barbecue sauce during the cooking can help set you apart too.

Get creative with your burger toppings. Lettuce, tomato, and onion are fine, but really get out there. A personal favorite it the fry burger. Make crispy shoestring fries and put an even layer on top of the burger. Cover it with a Russian dressing consisting of 2 parts ketchup, one part mayo, a good bit of relish, and a few cracks of fresh ground pepper.

What sort of readership do you have? What are the monthly pageviews? – Ed from California

My mom told her co-workers about the site so I guess you could say we’ve made the big leagues.

What happened to Trolling Craigslist? – Pete

I’ve been shadowbanned on that website and I don’t like using Tor because it always leads to me getting quotes on assassinations and sending heroin to my enemies. I’ll try to do one this week. I don’t think anyone uses Craigslist anymore though. Maybe we upgrade to OK Cupid.

Can I do wine reviews on your website? – Danielle from Michigan

Suck an egg.

If you have a question find us on Facebook, Twitter, or just send an e-mail. Sure I only check the e-mail once every three months, but I’m a single mother living inside the body of a childless, 20-something man. Oh, and I made a subreddit just because I could and I didn’t want one of you creeps creating it an lording it over me. It’s /r/BoozeAndOtherNonsense. Go vandalize it.

Hoegaarden Belgian Wheat

Appearance: Like a dream. This is slightly unfair, but I’m drinking this outside and the sun catches in the bottom of my glass in such a way that it sends mesmerizing rays of light up through the cloudy blur that makes up the body of this beer. A modest white head crowns a deep goldenrod that fades to the color of lemon juice as you scan your eyes from the top to bottom. That gradient is shocking.

Smell: I expect fruit up front, and there is definitely a bit of citrus and banana, but the first thing that hits the nose is spice; fresh cracked pepper and cloves. Delicate wheat and some yeast finish it out.

Taste: That spice comes through in a big way. Cloves, pepper, and lemon are the prominent tastes, followed up with malted wheat and other fruit.

It has a satisfying, creamy medium-body that benefits from the steady carbonation; creating a crisp feel that also allows that spice to hold on to the tongue for the perfect amount of time.

Overall: I feel like I undersold the head on this one because it’s amazing. It keeps at just about a quarter of an inch for the entire session, lasting and lasting and lacing the glass in a way that other beers should aspire to. It’s a little misty cloud on top of what has to be the nectar Dionysus himself insisted upon. 91/100. That spiciness cannot be overstated. It rounds this beer out so very well. A treat on a perfect Summer day.

Up Next: Resignation KCCO Black Lager