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Booze and Other Nonsense

~ Musings of a psychopathic alcoholic, raconteurs, film buff, and more!

Booze and Other Nonsense

Monthly Archives: May 2014

Beer Review #67: Chimay Blue

30 Friday May 2014

Posted by Vodka Barf in Beer Review

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Ale, Chimay Blue, Meme, Sprinkler, Trappist, Zimmerman

I feel like we’re due for some new memes. I can only see so many Confession Bears that are just thinly-veiled racism before I get bored. Here are my new offerings. Tell me what you think on Twitter @BoozeTweets or at the Facebook page. I guess you can send an e-mail to memes@boozeandothernonsense.com, but unless there are nude pics in it I likely won’t open it.

Immoral Lawn Sprinkler that has its first Period at the worst time

IMMORAL LAWN SPRINKLER THAT HAS ITS FIRST PERIOD AT THE WORST POSSIBLE MOMENT

GEROGE ZIMMERMAN CARVER

GEORGE ZIMMERMAN CARVER

RHODADENDRON THAT DOESN'T SHOW WORKPOTTED RHODODENDRON THAT DOESN’T SHOW ITS WORK

This is still a work in  progress. If you have ideas do that thing I said to do at the top of this post. Here’s the beer review.

Chimay Blue

Chimay Blue

Appearance: Explosive. It hits the bottom of my glass and erupts into a brilliantly strong head with an impressive, almost hazelnut, color. It’s big and doesn’t seem to be going anywhere.

Strong bubbles are just barely visible through the thick and hazy dark, grapefruit color. This looks like a piece of art.

Smell: Surprisingly muted. What does comes off is toasted nuts, maybe some cherries, and a bit of alcohol.

Taste: A letdown. A very, very thin mouthfeel; reminiscent of cold fruit juice. An offensive alcohol taste fills the mouth in such a way that it makes it hard to taste much else. There’s a nice roasted flavor. It certainly gets better and better as my hand starts to warm the glass. The previously overpowering tastes have given way to raisins, coffee cake, and something slightly spicy.

Overall: 79/100.  I made the mistake of getting my hopes up too high before I drank this beer. The appearance was well beyond amazing; I’m giving that feature a 30/25. Everything else was disappointing. Maybe next time.

Up Next: Either a nice stout or I revisit the American light beers.

Beer Review #66: Miller Fortune

10 Saturday May 2014

Posted by Vodka Barf in Beer Review

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Amber Lager, Miller Fortune, Mother's Day, Shower

It’s Mother’s Day weekend so I’d like to encourage all of my readers to think about their moms. I never had a mom, myself. I find the entire idea disgusting. What kind of 50-year-old woman likes giving baths to children? It seems like an excuse to rub kids and I am not cool with that.

I have a dad though and we do shower together, but that’s just because we believe that our real mother is Mother Earth and it’s important to conserve water. That, and I find him sexually attractive.

Before I get to this review, I beg someone to tell me why Miller is making this beer. What is the gimmick? It left me more confused than satisfied. Also, remember to follow us on Twitter and Facebook for updates. I’ll do the mailbag next week so submit any questions you have to one of our many e-mail addresses.

Miller Fortune

Miller Fortune

Appearance: Clean and clear. Fresh honey. Grain ready for harvest. The carbonation is strong and steady. A milky head pools in the middle of the glass. It feels almost romantic.

Smell: The first time you open a box of Corn Flakes, like artificial sweetener. There may be something else going in there, but it is very hard to get past the unnatural sweetness of this beer.

Taste: The insipid taste of a glass of water that you accidentally let sit in the sun for a few hours. A weak, watery body that leaves countless bubbles of carbon-dioxide all over the tongue. Some rice and a lot of corn syrup. It’s hard to get much else besides a lingering taste of alcohol. This beer is far too sweet.

Overall: I can’t think of any situation in which someone could enjoy this beer. There seems to be some gimmick behind it, but I can’t figure out what they were going for. Beer shouldn’t rely on a gimmick anyway. 46/100.

Up Next: Either a stout of some kind or Chimay Blue.

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