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I don’t really believe in anything supernatural. I mean, I used every birthday wish from 1995 to 2001 on clearing up the New York skyline, but that was probably just a coincidence. I think that coincidence is probably responsible for most accounts

I woke up this morning, from a very pleasant dream about the film Se7en, to the sounds of my cat, General Robert E. Flea, having a nightmare; this almost always happens if we have Italian the night before so I expected this. I gently picked him up and began rubbing the small of his back, the way a mother would encourage an infant to burp.

At that very moment I noticed that my Victorian sleeping garments were covered in some sort of chlorine-scented ectoplasm, centered mostly around the region of my urinary meatus. It has a salty taste, reminiscent of the “mystery milk” that my grandfather weaned me on as an adolescent. He’s been dead for over a decade though.

If you have experience with these sorts of hauntings please contact me immediately. I really want to get the recipe from that ghost. Here’s a Dieselpunk Porter review. 

Dieselpunk Porter

Dieselpunk Porter

Appearance: A dark, cola-like black that takes on a deep ruby color when held to the light. The head is full of energy and explodes in size, quickly trickling down to almost nothing. It’s quick to reform after a good swirl and does lace fairly well.

Smell: Weak and sweet. There’s a very noticeable presence of freshly mowed grass and hops. You can also smell the alcohol coming off of it.

Taste: Christ Almighty! That is not what I expected. I’m a fool for a good porter so I typically know what I’m getting in to when I get a new one to try. This drinks more like a Black IPA than a porter.

Bitterness takes to the main stage here, backed up by a subtle, lingering, maple-like sweetness and strong carbonation. It’s quite crisp, which is unexpected given its slightly-thicker-than-medium body. Its seriously lacking in the traditional porter tastes though.

Overall: If this was labeled as a Black IPA I’d happily give it somewhere between an 80 to 85. As a porter though, it gets a 71. This is a decent beer, one that wouldn’t be bad in the right situation, but it’s not what was promised. I’m giving bonus points for the graphic design on the bottle too. I shouldn’t, but it is a pretty bottle.

Up Next: Probably something awful.

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