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Booze and Other Nonsense

~ Musings of a psychopathic alcoholic, raconteurs, film buff, and more!

Booze and Other Nonsense

Monthly Archives: June 2013

Beer Review #51: Lagunitas Undercover Investigation Shut -Down Ale

29 Saturday Jun 2013

Posted by Vodka Barf in Beer Review, Humor

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Ale, Lagunitas, Limerick, Omar Sharif, queef, Stout, Undercover Invesitgation

I wrote a limerick. Feel free to use it:

I once dined with Omar Sharif.

Whose wife made a banquet of beef.

Instead of her mouth,

She shoved it down south,

And gave me mad cow with a queef.

Here’s today’s review. Find me on Facebook and Twitter. I promise to not dig up your relatives.

Appearance: A beautiful rich, dark honey brown color tempts my eyes in an almost unfair way. An off-white to almost yellow head laces majestically in the inside of my glass that only serves to swell my temptation. It’s remarkably clear with a moderate amount of carbonation; all of these qualities combining to make this reviewer drool.

Lagunitas UndercoverSmell: There’s a subtle citrus note with grass and sweetness; I’d liken it to walking outside to your garden after the rain on a hot day.

Taste: A stark contrast to the smell, a great hoppy bitterness envelopes the mouth, every bit of surface area blissfully screaming because of the skillful balance offered by the sweetness. The aftertaste is just a slow burn of more of the hops that holds and holds, not leaving the mouth even minutes after a proper, deep sip.

Overall: The way that the taste of this beer never leaves your mouth is a godsend because I don’t want to lose it. 87/100. I could only dock points because the taste could be very overpowering at times. I loved it, but I could see this being a turnoff for some.

Trolling Craigslist #10: Pride and Prejudice and Perverts

24 Monday Jun 2013

Posted by Vodka Barf in Trolling Craigslist

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Gay, Limerick, Pride, Trolling

I’ve been racking my brain in attempts to come up with a proper term for a group of gays; we’ve got great terms like “unkindness” for ravens and “clowder” for cats, but jumping straight to something like “gaggle” seems a bit extreme. Then, of course, I realize that it’s right there in front of me: Pride. It’s a pride of gays. Well this was Pride Weekend in my native Columbus and I took it as a chance to do some equal opportunity trolling. We don’t discriminate here at Booze and Other Nonsense. (Except the Polish. No time for them.) Follow the Facebook page or Twitter account for extra nonsense and be sure to share this with your friends.

As per usual, these were the funniest, weirdest, and most confusing of the dozens of replies I dug through.







Beer Review #50: 21st Amendment Hell or High Watermelon

18 Tuesday Jun 2013

Posted by Vodka Barf in Beer Review, Humor

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

21st Amendment, Baby Geniuses, Beer Review, Hell or High Watermelon, Jolly Rancher, Objects, Watermelon

Number 50. Well this took way longer than it should have. A wise man once said to me that you can use a thermometer to tell if a woman is ovulating. I felt pretty uneasy then and I have a similar feeling now.

Comedy and drinking are my two main passions, but life has been busy as of late. I’m back in the dating game and trying to raise a baby by myself. Dating is rough because I can’t meet a girls that shares my interests of her having low self-esteem, not eating, and Grand Funk Railroad.

The baby is just… In one word: Disappointing. I know you can’t expect a baby to do much, but I’ve seen “Baby Geniuses” six or seven times and those kids killed Dom Deluise or something; I can’t get through that movie sober.

Anyway, here’s a beer review. Share it, follow me on Twitter (@BoozeTweets), and like the Facebook page for sporadic humor and unreasonable demands.

Hell or High Watermelon

Hell or High Watermelon

Appearance: Murky and golden and volatile, all fun things to look at. The head is a bright white cloud that dissipates so very disappointingly quickly. The color almost seems like what one would stereotypically imagine as the color of beer, a strong yellow with a nice white halo.

Smell: There is a stunningly noticeable watermelon aroma. Not quite like fresh watermelon though, more like the smell one gets with watermelon candy. Also present is a very strong malty sweetness that I find overwhelming.

Taste: I’m a bit thrown off by the watermelon taste. It’s just like having a mouthful of liquefied watermelon jolly ranchers, something that I would probably enjoy, but not when I’m trying to enjoy a beer. This beer is totally lacking in any sort of balance. I’m knocked over the head by the combined sweetness of the watermelon  and malt. The body is nice and there’s a pleasant aftertaste reminiscent of tropical fruit, but the sweetness is just too much.

Overall: This is a great beer to have outside on a hot, sunny Summer day, maybe out by the pool or on the deck for a cookout, but that’s about it. I can’t ever see myself drinking this in any other situation. It’s not terrible, but in my mind it’s not beer. It looks great, I do have to give it that, but looks can rape your mouth with sugar. 58/100

Up Next: A stout. A damn stout in the Summer.

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