Once, when I was around 8, my mother and I were at the checkout line at the grocers. She left to go get tampons, or whatever it was she was using as an excuse to push something up in there, and I was left alone with the cart.

After the cashier scanned the items I stood there, petrified, and she asked me if I was going to pay.

“Miss”, I said, “I’m eight.”

They put me in jail for not having enough money to buy Dr. K and Gushers.

Appearance: I’m awestruck by the head on this beer. It’s beautifully thick and foamy and long lasting. Its pleasing off-white color forms a peak that floats wonderfully just over the rim of my glass. I’ve attempted to capture this effect in a photo.

The beer itself is cloudy, has very low carbonation and almost appears as if I’ve poured a glass of honey. Everything about it screams “Drink Me!”. I intend to oblige.

Smell: An immediate citrus jumps out at me, something tropical, followed by a difficult to place herbal aroma and subtle breadiness.

Taste: It’s quite sweet and  the malt tends to hover around for a long time in the aftertaste. It has a nice medium body that aids the lingering aftertaste. A bitterness carries throughout, but it is very muted, almost to the detriment of this beer. That citrus aroma from before is also comes through a bit, but only as soon as the beer hits the tongue.

Overall: If I were to do a photo shoot this would be one of the first beers I’d grab; the head and color are simply stunning. Unfortunately, the taste left a lot to be desired. Looking at my half empty glass I’m just thrilled with the lacing, but that can only get you so many points in my seemingly arbitrary rating system. I do like that it came in a can. Anyhoo, I’ll call this one 69/100.

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Up Next: I think I skipped Stone Levitation, so that.